Restrictive Feeding Practices
Over the years, I have encountered families who believe they need to control, tightly limit, or restrict the food their child eats. They label forbidden foods like candy or chips and make them scarce.
Especially if their child is a big eater or carries extra weight.
These are restrictive feeding practices and I often refer to it as food restriction. Although it is well-intentioned, it may cause more problems for your child and your family down the road.
Becoming The Food Police
No doubt, feeding kids is one of the greatest responsibilities you have, and perhaps one of your most repetitive, challenging, and mundane chores.
Our society’s obsession to be fit and trim is increasingly imposed upon our children. As a parent, you are faced with confusing and conflicting messages about proper feeding, healthful foods, and optimal levels of nutrition.
You may respond to this evolving standard of perfect nutrition with the only thing you can think of doing: tightly controlling the food your child eats.
Eventually, you fall into the role of the food police, controlling food portions, your child’s eating, and more.
You make sure you avoid forbidden foods, control how much your child eats and his exposure to indulgent foods.
As a result, you focus on giving your child the healthiest foods and in the right amounts, so she gets every nutrient she could possibly need.
You think: If I can do this, my child will be just the right size and shape, well-nourished, and feeding him will be struggle-free.
What are Restrictive Feeding Practices?
In a nutshell, restrictive feeding practices involve controlling every little bite that goes into your child’s mouth.
Controlling food portions by pre-portioning your child’s dinner plate or offering “snack packs,” is one way parents show food control over their children.
Purchasing diet, low-calorie, or fat-free foods in order to control the amount of calories, sugar or fat your child eats is another way.
Limiting second helpings at the dinner table, or even forbidding certain foods from entering the home or the family diet is yet another common way parents control food.
These are all signs of restrictive feeding practices.
Using food restriction on a regular basis can foster children who lose their sense of hunger and fullness.
They may overeat, often away from the watchful eye of mom and dad, when they are unrestricted.
They may become “obsessed” with the foods that are limited or forbidden from their eating pattern.
What Restrictive Feeding Practices Really Do
Over time, kids may feel deprived when they don’t have the freedom to choose how much they want (or need) to eat. Depending on their age, they also want to be in charge of what they eat.
I’ve also encountered kids who were restricted in their eating and were truly hungry– hungrier than their parents thought they were.
Research indicates that restrictive feeding may promote overeating.
Most interestingly, these studies not only link restrictive feeding practices to weight gain, they also link a parent’s perception of their child’s weight to restrictive feeding.
In other words, if you think your child is “big,” eating too much, or gaining weight, you are more likely to be more controlling — and restrictive — with every little bite she eats.
Yes, you’re more apt to become a food cop.
Like adults, kids want what they can’t or don’t have. It’s human nature.
Take away the candy, and kids can’t stop thinking about it. However, unlike adults, kids have less control over their biological drive to eat.
Signs Your Child is Experiencing Food Restriction
As I mentioned, food restriction and restrictive feeding practices may be a set-up for “overeating on the sly.”
For example, if your child slips into the pantry when you go change out the laundry, this may be a sign. If you find hidden wrappers under the bed, this too, may be a sign.
Or, your child may be unable to control his eating when forbidden foods are allowed or available.
For instance, when your child goes to a party and he hovers around the food table, eating as much as he can. Or, when she seems overly excited by sweets and treats.
Ultimately, restrictive feeding practices can undermine your child’s sense of appetite and his ability to regulate his eating.
In a nutshell, restriction can cause all sorts of problems with eating.
Choosing what you feed your children will always be important to his ultimate health. What we feed really matters.
But, I think you need to pay more attention to how you feed your child.
How to Tame Your Inner Food Cop
Remember, your child’s perception is real.
Provide an abundant table of healthy food for mealtime. Your child will feel like there is plenty to eat and she can have her fill.
Use all the food groups to make a balanced meal that is both satisfying to the eye and to the tummy.
Feeling hungry and being able to satisfy that hunger is more than a full belly–it’s emotional fullness, too.
Maybe feeling emotionally and physically full is what it will take to stop your child from overeating. You have to lose food restriction to achieve that.
Be an authoritative feeder so that your child experiences a predictable feeding schedule, food boundaries that aren’t too controlling or restrictive but allows reasonable choice.
Don’t be afraid to legitimize forbidden foods. Bring them to the table as part of a meal. Plan them into your child’s daily eating to neutralize them.
What’s your experience with food restriction (yourself or your child)? How did it play out?
I’ve discussed this on The Nourished Child podcast in episode #29.
P.S. If you want to put your hands on the book that will take you through the HOW of feeding and other feeding practices that undermine your child’s eating abilities, you can nab Fearless Feeding in my Nutrition Store.
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